Like The Blossom from The Cherry Trees
by noovoot
Summary: Ashley's having trouble accepting Shepard's place in Cerberus.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Wow lol okay I wrote this while i was drunk and i have no idea what it actually says and it's i'm too drunnk to speell check it so yeah maybe i'll write a new chapter later. :D! oh yeah there's not enough Fshep/Ashley in this fandom AND WE NEED TO CHANGE THAT**

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><p>Ashley didn't know what went through Shepard's mind when she had decided to side with Cerberus. But Ashley <em>did <em>know that she was grateful when she did. The whole colony would've been lost, and she didn't know if she could handle that.

She looked different – something that scared the living shit out of Ashley. There were faded glowing scars along her jaw, her cheek, her left eyebrow. Shepard's eyes looked…tired – like she was resisting something that was going to end up taking over anyway. God, Cerberus didn't put anything weird in her, right?

God damnit.

"Shepard," she croaked. Why was she so weak? Why wouldn't she say her name with confidence? She imagines she's that shaken up about seeing her CO after she's been officially dead for two years. She stares at Shepard's N7 logo as she processes her feelings.

"Ash," Shepard's voice cuts through her thoughts like a knife, and Ashley realizes that she's missed the smooth timber of her voice – and she catches the…_reverent_ way Shepard's tongue caresses her nickname.

She allows Shepard a small smile. She's _missed _her _so much_.

"I-I can't believe you're alive…"

Shepard's lips curve into a lazy smirk, one that usually adorned her face before the SR-1 blew up, and Ashley feels her heart constrict.

"Yeah, me either. I just – I remember getting spaced – oxygen was severed – and then – well,"

Ashley wants to slap Shepard's scarred cheek; she speaks of her death so…_casually_. She thinks that maybe it was…that maybe it was easy to let go – for _her._ But for Ashley, it was…devastating discovering her –probably best – CO had not made it. She remembers she cried for weeks.

She's still staring at Shepard's N7 logo. In her peripheral is a woman in…well, a _catsuit. _She has the Cerberus logo proudly shown above her right breast, and Ashley remembers that her Shepard isn't the same Shepard.

"I had…heard the rumors – I didn't know if I should believe them –but Cerberus?..._Damn _it Shepard; I _knew _that couldn't be true –" she scoffs, "but here you are."

Shepard looked pained. Ashley wanted to believe that maybe it was real – that maybe she was having a really difficult time admitting that _yes_, she was working for Cerberus. She could see the wheels turning in her head. Oh no, she's going to work the _charm_, Ashley thought.

"I – Ash, you _know _I wouldn't be with Cerberus if it wasn't for the right reasons!"

God _damn_ Shepard. Her charm was as good as ever and Ashley's heart skipped at the thought that _maybe_…

No.

"Maybe."

Shepard's scars shone a little brighter.

"But maybe Cerberus…_took control_." Ashely continued.

She watched as her scars got a little brighter as she grit her teeth.

"Or maybe you're too _blind _to see the big picture!"

Ashley would never admit it, but maybe she was.

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><p>"<em>Ash,"<em>

_She felt her ego inflate as Shepard moaned her name. She continued her assault on Shepard's neck, her fingers rubbing over Shepard's underwear. They were both wearing military-issued undergarments, but that didn't make it any less sexier. _

God_, she could feel her pulse fucking _jump_ – Ashley need to resist the urge to just bite down _hard_. She rubbed a little harder, and in return Shepard cupped her ass a little more desperately. There was something about having her Commanding Officer under her, moaning her name with such…worship. Ashley felt her spine shiver at the power. _

_She rubbed in a circular motion, something that she noticed Shepard liked, as she made her way down to her collar bones. They were displayed for _her_ and only for her, of course. _

"_Say my name,"_

"Ashley_," Shepard groaned._

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><p>"Ashley,"<p>

She woke up with a gasp, sweat trickling down her back, tickling her. Private Michael was there, looking somewhat disturbed having to wake up her CO. Ashley growled at the casual use of her name and the private quickly stood straight, "Sorry, ma'am. XO Gulliver ordered me to wake you up and get to his office immediately."

Ashley nodded, too tired to reprimand the private for _ever _using her first name. Her subordinate left, and Ashley rolled over in her bunk, wondering why she had a dream about Shepard.


	2. Relevent

**A/N: Hey you guys it's been forever how are you? So apparently i can only write this story while i'm drunk whvih i am right now but i'm trying my best to read through and see that this chapter is grammatically correct so yeah. I keep having to backspaceidk how many times! okay well here's chapter 2 i hope you like! :)**

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><p>The SSV Dallas was a small ship, but that didn't mean Ashley didn't love her. She was quiet and compact – the Alliance usually used her for stealth missions.<p>

Ashley didn't think about the fact that the Normandy would've been used for stealth missions if she was still flying Alliance colors.

It wasn't even seven, yet. Ashley made her way towards her XO's office, still in her pajamas.

Logan Gulliver was in his pajamas as well, making Ashley feel a little less self-conscious.

"We've got new intel," he began.

"Go on."

He picked up his datapad, "Command tells us that a Python-type has gone rouge. Says an Acting Captian Ronald has turned to pirating. 'Dispatch immediately.'"

"Um, where's the ship?" Ashley asked, confused as to why Command would tell them to 'dispatch immediately.'

"Hades Gamma, is all it says," Logan informed hesitantly, knowing how temperamental his CO gets.

…

After her…episode, Ashley had told her helmsman to set a course for the Hades Gamma. She didn't look forward to the searching the SSV Dallas had to do.

But now that she had some time to think…about everything, especially about her dream. She didn't want to dream about that. It was unnecessary. It was so fucking unnecessary to think about her old CO under her...moaning her name.

She furrowed her face in her hands. She had to get Shepard out of her head. She had to focus on her ship. On her crew.

She was the CO of the SSV Dallas, now.

No dilly-dallying, as her father would've said.

And she found herself laughing at the thought of her father saying the phrase 'dilly-dallying.'

…

"Commander,"

Shepard liked Miranda's accent. It was exotic and soothing. She looked up at her XO and gave her a lazy smile.

"Yes?"

"I know that you and Lieutenant-Commander Williams have a history, but I would rather you refrain from… ah, letting her interfere with your thoughts and objectives."

"And what would those objectives be?"

"Defeating the Collecters for a start," Miranda cupped her face, placing her elbow on her desk, "gathering the dossiers the Illusive Man has given you,"

Shepard shifted in her seat. She briefly entertained the idea of having Miranda Lawson in her bed and quickly dismissed it.

"Yeah, yeah, alright," Shepard pouted. Miranda was taken aback. With her lower lip sticking out, Shepard looked…ravishable. Miranda stared at the bottom lip of her CO, wondering what it would be like to suck on it. Then she realized what kind of thoughts she was having. Miranda stood to dismiss Shepard, but Shepard was already walking out of her office/room.

"Anytime, Commander…" Miranda trailed off.

…

"Garrus,"

"Shepard…"

Garrus didn't know why Shepard was just standing there behind him in the battery room. He felt like he was being evaluated, and he found his back to be straighter than usual.

"Relax Garrus, I'm not here to like, test you or anything." Shepard said in relation to Garrus' stiff back. He reveled in the feeling of the satisfaction that he was right, the Commander wasn't here for anything serious…or at least, _really _serious.

"I'm here about Ashley,"

Ashley Williams. Garrus thought back to Ashley being promoted to Lieutenant-Commander. It was an amazing ceremony, and Garrus found himself inexperienced to human customs, even after all the time spent within an Alliance vessel. There was one particular memory that stood out: Ashley had asked him to dance. He remembered that as her crewmate, he couldn't refuse, even though he had no idea how to…uh, what was it?...waltz! He had no idea what 'waltzing' was. Ashley had shown him how. He remembers the big smile on her face.

"What about her?"

"I saw her on Horizon." Shepard said, and instantly he'd understood.

He'd known about the Commander's and Ashley's relationship, just like the rest of the crew.

He'd seen some of the crew bet some money on it, and he'd been amused.

"Oh? She still got that pink armor?" Garrus inquired, as a joke of course. After multiple conversations with her, Garrus had found that Ashley liked her Onyx-pink armor just that way it was.

Shepard chuckled, "Yeah, that stupid pink armor."

"And how did you feel after this…uh, fateful encounter?"

"Homesick," Shepard smiled to herself, probably a joke within herself, Garrus thought.

"I would love to take you home, Shepard, but with these Collecter vermin everywhere..."

Shepard found herself laughing. She loved Garrus because he was honest, simple, and blunt. He was especially the first one, tonight.

"Yeah I know. Save the humans, love later." She found herself saying.

"I know the feeling," Garrus found himself saying, "I met this asari the other day,"

"Oh?"

And Garrus told Shepard all about it, all about the asari he had met on the Citadel.

…

"Gulliver, report!" Ashley commanded.

She was taking cover behind a pile of rations. She was thankful for how 'pot roast' this crew was.

"Dantius is still on the ship! That's all I can get about now!" Logan said, somewhat thankful the Dallas was getting only brief summaries of what was going on. It meant that he only knew a portion of what was going on, and it also meant that he didn't get yelled at for knowing so little.

"Dahlia Dantius has been neutralized, I repeat, Dantius has been neutralized," Ashley spit into her transmitter.

"Dahlius…? Then you have been authorized, repeat, authorized to board back to the Dallas, Williams."

…

Shepard was surprised to see Liara.

From what she could remember, Liara had been young and innocent… so fresh.

Shepard almost wanted her back on the Normandy so she could experience the asari, so she could…_haze._

"Liara," had escaped her lips before she could catch the words.

"Shepard,"

It was different seeing Liara T'Soni in an office setting. Shepard'd always imagined Liara in undiscovered Prothean ruins, not confined by a computer that read her incoming reports.

Liara was…chained to a computer, telling her where and what was happening at all times. Shepard would've invited her except…


End file.
